Love Ain't Easy, but God Never Fails

Have you ever had one of those times when you thought you were doing something right, but then the backlash makes you wonder why you bothered in the first place? I won't get into details, but I've had that happen more than once and each time I find myself swallowing my pride or taking one for the team or any number of other cliches.  It seems to be hardest when family is involved.  I find myself asking the question "Do my personal views need to be glorified or do I need to make sure that God is glorified?"  The answer to that is easy when looking from the outside-in, but in the midst of a situation, the lines in between the two can be easily blurred.

Today I am especially reminded of the verses on which I have based this blog.  "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." ( Corinthians 3:4-8).  Wow...that's hard stuff.  Personally, I have read that verse a hundred times and while I know what it says, it wasn't until recently that I began to internalize the importance of these verses.  What is the greatest commandment from God? "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" (Luke 10:27).  The greatest commandment is to love and through 1 Corinthians 3:4-8 we know what love looks like.  Are we doing it?

I encourage you to try this little exercise:  rewrite 1 Corinthians 3:4-8, but insert your name in place of the word 'love' or pronouns referring to love and read it out loud.  Here's how mine reads:

"Kevin is patient, Kevin is kind. Kevin does not envy, Kevin does boast, Kevin is not proud.  Kevin does not dishonor others.  Kevin is not self-seeking, Kevin is not easily angered and Kevin keeps no record of wrongs.  Kevin does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  Kevin always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Kevin never fails."

This is humbling as I reflect on the fact that I am generally a good person. But if the greatest commandment is to love, and I insert my name and can then clearly see that I fall short of reflecting what love is, then I have got some work to do.  It is a daunting task to look at love and look at our shortcomings and seek to try to correct the situation.  For me - I get three words into that verse and fall apart...I am not a patient person.  Personal evaluation and reflection is overwhelming at times, but what gives me hope is knowing that I can rely on God's attributes and not my own.  Now let's rewrite that verse and insert God's name and I will show you what I mean:

"God is patient, God is kind. God does not envy, God does boast, God is not proud.  God does not dishonor others.  God is not self-seeking, God is not easily angered and God keeps no record of wrongs.  God does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  God always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  God never fails."

While I fall apart on the first three words,  I am comforted that I can lean on God right to the final three words where I am reminded that "GOD NEVER FAILS."  So while I am easily angered, God is not.  While I may keep a mental list of the wrongs others commit against me, God does not remember mine.  While I may fail miserably in every aspect of my life, I can count on Him because God never fails.

Love isn't easy - I don't find anywhere in the Bible where God says anything will be easy (a result of the fall?) but He's there to help us.  The Holy Spirit that indwells us gives us the strength to do the difficult even when we don't think we need the help.

Demystifying Mysticism & Contemplative Prayer

"Mysticism is the pursuit of communion with, identity with, or conscious awareness of an ultimate reality, divinity, spiritual truth, or God through direct experience, intuition, instinct or insight. Mysticism usually centers on a practice or practices intended to nurture those experiences or awareness. "  (Thanks to Wikipedia for that definition)

In beginning this journey I have been very skeptical and have had a rather closed mind about mysticism, but it now seems logical to me that there needs to be a significant spiritual aspect to our faith.  We are in fact spiritual beings who are indwelled by the Holy Spirit.  When we think of mysticism we tend to think about eastern religions and having out-of-body experiences and the sort.  We thinks about chanting and meditation and burning incense and well, it all seems a little too "new age."  But the fact is that mysticism means communing with God and that is something that every Christian should be interested in.  I think I get caught up the terminology and the “how-to’s” rather than the purpose and meaning. 

The Holy Spirit is most often the member of the Trinity that is forgotten, probably because we have a hard time understanding and relating to this "spirit."  For me, having been raised in New England and having worshiped at a Baptist church for a number of years, the Holy Spirit wasn't really emphasized as part of our worship life.  We left that to those Pentecostals down the street and dismissed much of it because of the likes of Benny Hinn and the fake healings and claims to be able to raise the dead.  I also had a bad experience when I was younger in that some friends who attended a more charistmatic church asserted that my family members were not true believers because we didn't speak in tongues (a 'sign' that we are indwelled by the Holy Spirit).  Perhaps you can now understand some of my skepticism.

I mentioned in a recent post that I am not one for deep theological studies on any particular subject, but I have been reading quite a bit to check this out for myself and gain some understanding.  After reading a numbers of passages in Acts and a few commentaries on whether or not the Spiritual gifts such as tongues are active today, it was recommended that I read a couple of books that really helped me.  "Celebration of Discipline" by Richard Foster and "Into the Depths of God" by Calvin Miller.  Both of these books discuss the importance of meditation and contemplative prayer in order to get more in touch with God through the Holy Spirit.  Rather than go through all of their explanation, I will recommend you do a bit of reading.  Here's my take on it:  we need to spend more time listening to God - letting Him speak into our hearts.  This is how we gain a deeper knowledge of Him and gain an understanding of His will for our lives.  This is accomplished through contemplative prayer and meditation.

Most people don’t spend one hour a week in prayer, let alone setting aside an hour a day to ‘listen’ to God.  Too often we fill our prayer time with a list of the wants and needs that we have.  God knows them already…but do we spend time to listen to Him? or do we just expect God to do all the listening and answer our prayers?  Good relationships are a two-way street.  Communication must be flowing both ways.  I have recently tried to set myself apart from my routine and pray – and just be still.  I have closed the door to my home office, turned off all the lights and music and with just a flashlight I read some scripture and then doing anything possible to block out noise, I just prayed and then sat quietly.  It was so refreshing to think of nothing but God through contemplative prayer.

I think people hear instruction on this practice of contemplative prayer and see that one should repeat a word or phrase over and over.  Why do this?  Well I like to think practically – it helps block out other thoughts and distractions.  It keeps us focused on the task and that is to sit and focus on God, to be in His presence.  Technology has wired our brains to be active constantly – it’s no wonder there are so many sleep clinics – so this repetition is a way to de-program ourselves and allow our brains to take some rest.  It is in this quiet stillness that we can feel God’s presence.  I believe God’s presence is always there, but we don’t recognize it or feel it because of everything else we have chosen to “feel.” 

We cannot simply put our hands or eyes on every answer that is to be had.  Hugging the Bible does not make us closer to God any more than holding a glass of water quenches our thirst.  We need to ‘take it in’ – let it become a part of who we are.  Does this mean meditation?  Yeah.  Does this mean contemplative prayer?  That’s probably part of it.   Is contemplative prayer and meditation some form of eastern mysticism?  I now do not believe so.   

I have decided that I need a more purposeful quiet time with God and I hope that you too will do some reading on the subject and find that there really is a very good reason to "...be still and know that I am God!"  Do you want to love God more and deepen your relationship with Him?  Spend more time listening and understand that the Holy Spirit is alive within us.

Does it Really Matter?

Those of you who have read any portion of my blog know that I am not a theologian, and I don’t believe it is in my future either.  In fact, I find reading books written by theologians to be incredibly ...what’s the word?...Oh yeah….dull.  I know that there’s an important role to be played by Biblical scholars, but it’s not for me.  My preference is to let them do their ‘thing’ and I will do my best to fulfill God’s purpose in my life.  I’m just not built that way.  The problem I see with over-analyzing the Bible and biblical history is that too much attention gets paid to the details and the big picture is missed.

I’ve recently seen some interesting details of Jesus’ birth circulating on Facebook.  It seems that someone took the time and certainly some effort to explain that Jesus was not actually born in a stable.  It’s a compelling argument to understand the culture of the day and also to understand that some things are lost in translation.  What amazes me though is that some 2,000 years after the birth of Christ, someone figured out it wasn’t a stable he was born in.  Was this some big secret that was meant only for people in the 21^st century?  Why is it that God granted some special wisdom to somebody in recent times, but chose not to reveal that part of the story earlier?  I choose to believe that if God’s son had been born in a spare room in someone’s house, then we would have figured it out much sooner.  But here’s the bigger question – WHY DOES IT MATTER?

We Christians do ourselves a disservice to argue over some minor details.  Born in a stable…born in a back room…born in a field – it doesn’t matter.  Born of God and the virgin Mary, raised as the son of a carpenter…those are the things we know for sure and the rest of it just isn’t important.  Did Mary ride a donkey or a horse?  Does it change God either way?  I admit that I do not think deeply about spiritual matters.  I don’t feel the need to delve into a big theological study every time I am confronted with something I don’t quite understand.  Will I read and pray and seek advice?  Sure, but I am convinced that God’s intention was for us to know Him as easily as possible.  We do not need a Master of Theology degree or an M. Div. to have a relationship with God or to call ourselves Christians.

There are lots of varying viewpoints floating around on numerous subjects.  Did God create the world in seven literal days or does each day represent a period of time?  Will God call us up to heaven pre-tribulation, mid-tribulation or post-tribulation?  I could go on and on, but the point I want to make is that these things really don’t matter.  Does it change my relationship with God if each day of creation was really symbolic of a longer period of time?  Do I live my life differently if I know I’m going pre-trib?  God doesn’t ask us to become scholars and have an understanding of everything He did, does and will do.  He asks us to believe with faith like a child.

                Heavenly Father, there are so many things that I do not understand, and many more that I never will.  I trust that you’ve known what you were doing since the beginning of time and that you will continue to be in control in ways beyond my comprehension until the end of time.  Thank you that my salvation does not depend on the depth of my scholarly knowledge, but rather depends wholly on the depth of your love for me.  Let me not lose focus of the big picture and your call upon my life.  AMEN.

A Mother's Love

As mentioned in a previous post about books, I haven't done much reading in the last 15 or so.  However, in the last 12 months or so, starting with some suggestions from my brother-in-law, I have regained a passion for reading anything and everything I can get my hands on...mostly free from the library.  While borrowing books from the library is great, I find myself being aggravated at times because I must refrain from dog-earing the pages and marking them up with underlines and highlights.  Yes, I am finding lots of material worth remembering later on.  I know the "e-readers" are becoming increasingly popular - but can you select and highlight passages to refer back to later?

I have discovered that I enjoy reading about people who made incredible sacrifices in order to serve God.  The first couple of books I read explored the life of Saint Francis of Assisi.  Absolutely inspiring!  Most recently I read a book called "No Greater Love" written by Mother Teresa.  Everyone knows who she is and about the work that she did in Calcutta, India, but I was interested in reading something from HER perspective.  Why did she do what she did?  What words of wisdom can she offer?  Did she ever consider doing something different with her life?  The thing that amazed me most after reading her book, was the number of times that she talked about LOVE!

Mother Teresa was able to completely abandon her own wants and desires because of her love for Christ.  She thought of herself as a bride of Christ and intimately loved Him with all of her being.  "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength" was a command recorded by 3 of the 4 gospel writers.  It is also mentioned numerous times in the old testament (Deut. 6:5; Deut 10:12; Deut 11:13; Deut. 13:3 to mention a few...)  It must be an important thing to do for it to be mention more than a few times throughout Scripture.  Mother Teresa was able to care for the sick and dying because of her immense, personal love for her Savior. 

In point of fact she refers numerous times in her book to the passage in Matthew 25:40 "...whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me." Mother Teresa saw the image of Christ emblazoned on every person she pulled out of the gutter.  She gave food to the famished, medicine to the sick, dignity to the dying & love to the unlovable.  She didn't spend all her time preaching - although she was more than happy to share about Christ when someone asked.  She knew that her actions helped to meet the needs of a broken person and that quite often opened a door to a conversation about Christ's love.

I wasn't left with a feeling of guilt after finishing this book, instead I felt empowered and motivated to help those less fortunate than me.  How can I possibly complain about all sorts of things, while 1/2 way across the world, there are people that haven't had a meal in days?  I don't feel guilty about that, I feel blessed to live in the country I live in.  "For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required..." Luke 12:48.  I am reminded rather that we have a responsibility to help those in need.  I think a great number of people are willing to help, but Mother Teresa points out that it is much too easy for people to choose to reach out to the rich instead of the ones who really need help.  She says that in general the majority of people would rather try to witness to a bunch of rich folks than clean the wounds of the dying.  Yeah, she was probably right. 

Love, pray, love, serve, love, give, love and then love some more.  That is a quick summation of Mother Teresa's life.  No task was too gross or too degrading.  Nothing she did was too menial and nothing was more important than for caring for one of God's children.  She understood God's love for her and she was able to show that same love in a very tangible way.  I pray that God would open my eyes to see the opportunities before me to show His love, no matter the cost.

 

Loved Before You Were Born

“I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb.  Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.”  (Jeremiah 1:5)

God knew you, as he knew Jeremiah, long before you were born or even conceived.  He thought about you and planned for you.  We weren't some cosmic accident, but rather individually knit together by a God who loves us.  I've never had a so-called "conversion moment" as I was raised in a Christian home and Christianity was all I knew.  As a result, I have had a difficult time wrapping my head around the idea that I was made intentionally for a specific purpose.  Honestly, it has been a constant struggle for me to comprehend God's love for me.  To think about God's love meant thinking in general terms in relation to this Creator loving everything that He made.  It wasn't personal enough for me.  And it is for that reason that I have created this blog.  I know God loves me...but I need to learn more about what that means and how to then apply it in showing that love to others.

There are two families in our church that are currently in different stages of adopting a child.  I cannot write enough about the love that is shown through adoption (I'd like to sometime!) but for this post, I want to share the picture of God's love for us that I see through watching our friends.  One of the families has already met the child they are to adopt and I know that their hearts ache to be back with him.  I cannot imagine having to leave a child behind on the other side of the globe.  They've experienced this child's laugh, his smile and warm embrace.  They've seen him play and run and have seen the progression from the shyness of their first encounter to the acceptance and comfort of knowing they will soon be together forever.  As it is with adoption, especially international adoption, there is a waiting period and paperwork that must be contended with and that means weeks of waiting and longing.  But this family now knows who their child is going to be.  Their child has a name, a face, a personality and has captured the love and affection of two people soon to be known as Mommy and Daddy.

Preparations are being made for this child's arrival into their family.  There have been baby showers and shopping trips and the room is decorated with his name proudly spelled out in large white letters across one wall of his bedroom.  There is so much anticipation and so much love that goes into making things perfect for the big day when they walk him through the front door.  I can only imagine that every moment of their days are filled with thoughts of being with their son and showing him a love that he hasn't known before.

Isn't this a fantastic picture of that verse in Jeremiah?  God knew who we were before we were born just as this family now knows their child before his "birth" into their family.  I have 3 children of my own, and I can remember the emotions waiting for the birth of each of them.  The difference was that I did not "know" my child the way these adoptive parents have had a chance to know their son.  In my case, I knew a baby was there and it was mine and I loved him or her no matter what.  But to be able to see the smile, the laughs and get the hugs and kisses before the "birth" - that makes it so much more personal.  God loved us on that personal level.  He knew us by name, He knew our smile, our laugh, our cry, our pain, our struggles, our joys, our excitement...all before we were a twinkle in our parents' eyes. 

"In the very beginning, when this great universe lay in the mind of God like unborn forests in the acorn cup—long before the echoes awoke the solitudes—before the mountains were brought forth. Long before the light flashed through the sky, God loved His chosen creatures. Before there was any created being—when the ether was not fanned by an angel’s wing, when space itself had not an existence, when there was nothing save God alone—even then, in that loneliness of Deity and in that deep quiet and profundity, His heart moved with love for His chosen. Their names were written on His heart and then were they dear to His soul. Jesus loved His people before the foundation of the world—even from eternity! And when He called me by His Grace, He said to me, “I have loved you with an everlasting love: therefore with loving kindness have I drawn you.” -- Charles H. Spurgeon

How do we respond to Him? Do we reject His love and forget that we were once 'orphans' in a foreign land or do we cling to him with love and affection?  Remember that God has always thought of you as valuable and that he has a purpose in mind for you.  Now THAT's family planning!

Will Tithing Make us Rich?

I've decided that I will occasionally branch out into some other topics that are on my mind, so without further ado................

Tithing in and of itself does not bring about some kind of financial benefit to the giver.  Giving 10% to the church does not bring with it a promise of financial gain.  There are many televangelists and prosperity preachers that would have you believe that if you give 10%, then you will see a reward and "get rich."  I do not find this anywhere in scripture and I believe it goes against the attitude in which God wants us to give.  2 Corinthians 9:7 "So let each one give as he purposes in his heart, not grudgingly or of necessity; for God loves a cheerful giver."  We should be giving to support the ministry of the church with cheerful hearts, and not expecting some financial windfall in return. 

 Is it true that some people see a supernatural change in their financial position through sacrificial giving?  Sure, I can tell you that I have for certain. Did I get rich because of it?  Absolutely not.   Is it because I believe I obeyed a command to give 10% or because God has promised to give me money in return for my giving 10%? No.  It is all the effect of Faith and a trust in the promise that God will take care of all of our needs.  “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’  For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." Matthew 6:31-33.   God promises to take care of our needs, but does not promise to make us rich financially. 

Understand that I am writing this from the perspective of someone who does not have enough money to pay my bills.  Are my needs met?  Yes.  Are my financial struggles my own fault and the result of my selfish ways and unwise financial decisions? You better believe it.  God doesn't promise to provide for all our desires and sometimes that means we will struggle through some poor choices we have made.  Can I live above my means and expect God to bail me out?  Last time I checked, I am not AIG and He is not the US Treasury.  I would say that seeing God’s people living above their means is one thing that just eats at me.   I think all youth pastors should teach sound financial principles starting in junior high and try to make sure that we’re sending our kids into the world with knowledge of the destructive power of money and debt.

I have many times wanted God to provide instant remedies to my problems.  I have more than once prayed to find a bag with $20,000 on the sidewalk or to win the lottery.  But God doesn't work like that.  That's how absentee fathers try to have relationships with their kids.  They buy them expensive gifts and send them money.  Money solves everything right?  Not to a Father who genuinely desires a relationship with us.  He wants us to count on Him.  He wants us to cry out to him and tell Him that we can't make it on our own.  He wants us to sit on His lap in His rocking chair, hold us tightly in His arms and tell us everything will be alright.  Our ‘abba’ wants us to need Him, because otherwise, we turn and run and try to make it on our own.

I think too often we hear testimonies from people who say they "started giving 10% and all their troubles were gone" or "I put $100 extra in the offering plate this week and I just found out I am getting a bonus at work" and we expect that to happen to us if we give too.  The giving is not the solution; the tithe is not the answer, God is.  Consider the life of David as way for me to explain what I mean:  David was the most ordinary guy imaginable.  Nothing David did or accomplished happened because he was special in any way.  Anything he accomplished was because of the extraordinary God that used him.  Our tithes do not provide security.  Our 10% does not promise a great "ROI."  But rather, God promises to care for us and provide what we need.  Is tithing a measure of our spirituality?  If the answer to all our financial problems was just giving 10%, would we not try to give more to gain more?  How does that show our faith in our creator?  I believe we would be drawn to the power of money and the act of tithing, rather than to God's promise to love and care for us.

We believe that about our salvation don’t we?  We believe that we are saved by grace through faith and not by works.  We can’t earn our way in to heaven because that puts the focus on our abilities and the things that we've done.  Therefore I would be better to keep doing good works to try to earn extra favor in God’s eyes.  At least, that’s how some might see it.  God doesn't love us more if we tithe, and He doesn't love us less if we only give 7.26%.

My views on money might be different if I had lots of it, but I feel I am blessed (yes, blessed!) to not have more than I can handle.  It is because of my financial struggles that I am growing closer to God and I would probably drift away were my situation different.  Handling our money God’s way requires discipline and sacrifice if we desire to be faithful to His guidelines.  I say guidelines because I don’t believe there are any specific commands about how we are to use our money.  We are obviously commanded to give and to take care of our family and those in need, but I believe that it is a function of how close we are to God.  The closer we grow, the more we give.

Undercover Christianity

On my drive to work this morning I flipped on my usual sports channel to listen to "Mike & Mike" discuss who would win the Thanksgiving Day football games.  Some mornings I change the station over to WFIL Christian radio to listen to James McDonald from Harvest Bible Chapel near Chicago, IL.  I have been in a pattern recently though of sticking with sports for my entire drive, but this morning I felt the need to listen to Pastor James.  The first thing I heard was this question, "Are there such things as undercover Christians?"  He went on to ponder if God has a large battalion of undercover "agents" just hiding and waiting for the right time to reveal themselves. 

Pastor McDonald shared a story of a woman in his church who approached him one Sunday after the service and confessed that she did not know if she was a Christian.  "No one at work knows I am a Christian," she stated.  "My one neighbor knows I go to church and nothing more, the other has no idea and no one in my family knows if I am a Christian.  So, am I a Christian?"  This story struck a nerve in me because of the way I know I have lived for many, many years.  My family and friends know I am a Christian and if asked by a coworker, I cannot recall a time when I denied my faith.  However, I have not made it obvious to those around me at work or in my neighborhood.  “Whoever acknowledges me before others, I will also acknowledge before my Father in heaven. But whoever disowns me before others, I will disown before my Father in heaven. (Matthew 10:32-33)

Why have I not been more open about my faith?  I have spent years convincing myself that I was afraid or ashamed, and while that is part of the story, I am learning that it boils down to a lack of love for others.

In college I had a roommate who drove me crazy because he was always talking about God...everything to him was about God and He made sure everyone around him knew it.  Yeah, if you read "My Story" you know that I went to a Christian college and this shows how "lukewarm" I was even in those surroundings. The fact is that this guy loved people and he could not help but talk about God.  We Christians profess to have "the cure" and yet we act like we're on a special undercover mission from God, just waiting for the signal to put the plan into action.  How are we showing God's love by keeping it "under a bushel"?

A few weeks ago, the CEO of our parent company, based in the U.K. came here to our office for his annual visit, and to announce his retirement at the end of the year.  We had a small party for him including cake and ice cream and he was asked to give a brief speech.  After thanking those who have worked closely with him and thanking us for all of our support of him and the company, he paused briefly then said, "In the spirit of giving credit where credit is due, and given the fact that I am a Christian, I need to thank God for all that he has blessed me with over the years working at Pandrol."  Here was the top guy in my company professing his faith and did not miss this opportunity as 30 people hung on his every word.  I was floored and most impressed because a short time before he said this, a few of the top managers here thanked him for the way he treated people, even the people lowest on the pay scale.  Here was a man who treated people with respect and love and now all these people know why...God.

To round out this story, I was impressed and had a desire to discuss it and let him know that I too was a Christian and that I appreciated the example he set for me.  Getting time with the boss is difficult, so I had to jot him a quick email not really expecting a reply.  Not only did I get a reply, but he made a point to visit me the next morning.  As I was leaving work that day, ou receptionist stayed and seemed to be waiting for me so she could ask what it was all about.  Following Mr. Beal-Preston's example I told here I was a Christian and that he and I spent 10 minutes discussing our faith with one another. 

Do people around you KNOW you are a Christian?  Or have you been living like me, working as an undercover Christian waiting for the perfect time?  Aren't we in effect denying Christ if we keep Him to ourselves?

Who Deserves it More?

In spending some time this week considering God's love for me, the question crossed my mind: Would I be willing to die for someone else?  In reading the book of John, I came to this verse John 15:13 "Greater love has no man than this, than to lay down one's own life for his friends."  I've given money to friends when they've needed it, and I've even taken blame for mistakes at work so that a coworker wouldn't be reprimanded.  But if push came to shove, could I make the decision to give my life for someone else?  It takes some soul searching to try to come to an honest answer.  I think that most husbands (good ones anyway) would say that they give their life for their wife and the majority of parents would willingly sacrifice their own if it meant saving a child's life.  But what about a sibling? A cousin? The guy or girl who sits in the office across the hall?  The jerk who cut you off this evening on the way home?  If you're like me you got to the end of the list of choices I gave there and thought, "Yeah right...I'm not even going to yield for that guy let alone give my life for him."  Somehow we seem to be able to place a value on the lives of the people around us and make judgement calls based on who deserves our love. 

One of my favorite authors, Donald Miller, calls this the "Lifeboat Theory."  In his book, Searching For God Knows What, Miller describes a scenario where people are (and I will paraphrase to save time) drifting through life in a big lifeboat.  As food begins to run out, we look at each other and assign value and try to justify why we are better than everyone else.  No one is about to risk death and give up their ration of food so someone else can live, right?  He then applies that to our everyday lives.  I deserve to live more than "that" guy...I have a graduate college degree.  I'm clean-cut, give 10% and wear a tie every week to church...clearly I deserve to be rescued before that kid that wears all black to church with piercings and black nail polish.   I have a certificate in Biblical Studies from an online seminary, sing in the choir, serve food to the homeless and attend prayer meeting...that woman only vacuums the sanctuary once a week, why does she deserve to live more than me?

Stay with me, here's the point - isn't it a good thing that God's love doesn't work like that?  I'm sure glad, because I've screwed up many times and I've spent years not being willing to serve in the church.  If my hope of God's love was based on service or who is most 'perfect' - I'd be fairly low on the list.  But I'm sure I would be able to look around and try to justify why I am better than that person or that guy or some woman at work.  We are all created in God's image and He loves each of us unconditionally.  And here's the kicker...He was willing to give His life for us and took it one step further...gave up the one thing most precious to Him...His Son!  I may be willing at some point in my life to make a decision to give up my life for someone else, but tell my son I'm giving HIS life for someone else's...not a chance!  And that's why I am glad He's God and I am not dependent on my own abilities to attain His love and grace.

We all know the verse John 3:16 and we see it on signs at almost every football game, but how often do we really think about the depth of God's love for us that he would send us His son?  He sure loves us!!  God doesn't play favorites and check out some list of who's been naughty or nice...we don't have to be perfect for God to love us...thankfully.  Here's one of my favorite verses:  "But God demonstrates His own love for us in this:  while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."  (Romans 5:8)  God doesn't wait for us to deserve love.  God gave his life for the jerk who cut him off in traffic.  God loves us whether we have a college degree or can't read and write.  God loves us whether we have the Bible memorized or never opened the front cover.  God loves Billy Graham and my foul-mouthed, lying, cheating and drunken neighbors.**

"So are we supposed to be looking for opportunities to die??" - Ummm, nope.  But we sure can give of ourselves in other ways.  We can sacrifice ourselves by giving up the great seat on the bus.  We can park farther away from the front door of a store so an older lady doesn't have to walk as far in the cold.  We can skip lunch tomorrow and buy a sandwich for the homeless guy on the corner that everyone else walks by.  We can forego buying Christmas presents for our spouses this year and instead buy some toys for kids whose parent(s) are in jail.  We are no better than they are and God loves us the same.  Shouldn't we try to love others that way too?

**To my knowledge, none of my neighbors meet this description and I am not intentionally describing someone you know.  If you feel that I was describing you, perhaps that is God's way of telling you something!!

Good Books?

I've never been much of reader - as a kid I read quite a bit, but I really didn't find reading enjoyable for the last 15 or so years.  But in the last 12 months I have been making up for lost time and I need your help to keep me going.  I am looking for your recommendations.

The last time I asked for a book recommendation, it was suggested that I read a book called, "Same Kind of Different As Me" - and that was a great book! 

What's good?  What challenged you?  Was there a book you read that you completely disagreed with? 

And check out my list of books I have read recently...lots of good stuff there!

4 Words No Father Wants to Hear

"YOU DON'T LOVE ME!"

You can't find 4 words that have the ability to make a father crumble more than these.  They are powerful words when strung together that way.  They give an eight year old the ability to make a grown man stop dead in his tracks.  It's unfortunate, but I think we have all uttered that phrase at one point in our lives...I remember my Dad telling me many times that I would 'understand once I had kids of my own.'  He was right.  There are times when I wish that I could go back and undo the things I have said to my Dad over the years, but this is the one phrase that tops the list. 

My eight year old daughter has thrown that at me a few times, and each time I feel like I have been punched in the stomach by Evander Holyfield (not that would know how that really feels).  In that moment I welled up with so many emotions: anger, love, sadness, frustration.  If you've heard those words come flying at you, you probably felt the same way.  I wanted to scoop her up in my arms and hug her so tight, but at the same time I felt like yelling at her, "YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU!! YOU ARE EVERYTHING TO ME!!  DON'T YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT HURTS ME TO HEAR YOU SAY THAT!!"  I'm man enough to admit that I cried when she first said it to me.  She could not possibly understand the depth or width of my love or the lengths I would go to protect her and care for her or her brother and sister.  It breaks my heart just thinking about it.  I really could not understand how my Dad must have felt until I had kids of my own.

I cannot help but think that my reaction to hearing those words is but a drop in a bucket compared to how God must feel.  He breathed life into us, has watched us grow up, has seen us take our first step, heard us speak our first words.  Yet so many of us act like He's not there.  We spend years convinced that he's not real and ignore him even after we acknowledge His existence.  We call ourselves His children, but curse His name and disobey Him and get mad at Him when things aren't going our way.  He doesn't let us have something we want and we turn into little children and throw a tantrum and say, "You don't love me!"  Oh, how that must break His heart.

I can imagine God turning quiet as He sits down on His throne.  He buries His face in His hands and begins to sob quietly.  After a few moments pass, He wipes the tears away and raises His head with a much different look on His face - one of anger, yet at the same time sorrow and love.  He stands up and begins to speak with a tender voice that sounds like thunder, "YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU!! YOU ARE EVERYTHING TO ME!!  DON'T YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT HURTS ME TO HEAR YOU SAY THAT?!  THERE IS NOTHING THAT CAN MAKE ME STOP LOVING YOU!" 

I've read many verses in the Bible that tell us of God's love for us, but had such a hard time fully understanding it until my children came along.  We can love a pet or our favorite sports team, and we sure can love our spouse and our children - but none of that compares to the way God loves us.  And what does He ask in return?  Nothing.  Sure, we can pray and read the Bible and go to church and help others, but we can't earn His love or do anything to make Him stop loving us. He loved us even before we wanted to recognize Him.  Revelation 3:20 tells us, "Here I am! I stand at the door and knock..."  He stands out there in the rain, the snow, the wind - He watches as we open the door for others but don't even glance His way.  Yet he stands there and continues to knock.  He pursues us because He loves us.  He knows what's best for us and uses our circumstances, both good and bad, to teach us and guide us.  He gave his life because He loves us. "For God so loved the world that he gave His one and only Son..." (John 3:16)

As I go forward in this journey of learning about love, I need first to have a firm grasp of God's love.  I will be exploring that in my next few posts.  I hope that this process will, either through words or how I live it out, help someone out there to see God's love for the first time.

Wearing Your Team's Colors

After a Sunday filled with some good football games, it's easy to have this topic on my mind this morning.  I was thinking about how we show support for our favorite football team by going to games or sitting in front of the television wearing jerseys and t-shirts and hats - perhaps even painting our faces and waving big "#1" foam fingers in the air.  And home games are the best, aren't they?  We get together with friends who all wear the team colors - and even people we don't know are like family simply because they share the same love for the home team.  Proudly showing our colors is easy when the surroundings are comfortable.

I have some friends who are fans of the Philadelphia Eagles (pronounced 'Iggles') and they are travelling down to the D.C. area tonight for the game against the Redskins.  I can guarantee that they are wearing their finest Eagle's jersey's and hats and will not be shy about showing their allegiance to the green-and-white.  Isn't that what being a sports fan is all about.  We want it known that we are part of this franchise and we'd be ready to jump right in there if the coach called on us.  We're more than willing to take the name-calling, the food being thrown at us, the obscene gestures...All because we love our team and want to be associated with them.

I attended a Bruins - Flyers hockey game not too long ago with my brother-in-law here in Philadelphia.  We were walking across the parking lot and spotted 2 Bruins fans decked out in their team's gear being all proud that they were there.  As we passed them, my brother-in-law shouts - "Hey, he's Bruins fan too!" while pointing in my direction.  They questioned "Where's your jersey?" - I had no answer...I wasn't wearing one (and honestly don't own one) but the next thing they said was, "BOO...BOOOOO - you're not a real Bruins fan!"  We laughed, but I can't argue...I claimed to be a Bruins fan, but was too ashamed and fearful of being called names that I chose not to make it known.  And unfortunately, it's all too easy to do that in our Christian lives.

We Christians find it easy to wear our team colors at home games too.  We put on our Sunday best, we proudly carry our Bibles and notebooks and put smiles on our faces and sing songs and pray out loud in Sunday School.  We may let an "AMEN" slip out when the preacher says something we agree with or raise our hands in praise when worship choruses are sung.  It's easy to do that among our friends and family, just like it is in football.  The difference is that when go to work or school or the grocery store on Monday morning, we seem to forget that team allegiance and take off all of our "Jesus gear" and try to slip through the crowds without anyone noticing.  We can't even support other "Jesus fans" because we can't recognize them.  We might as well be Eagles fans wearing Redskins jerseys.

Can I encourage you today to put the "Jesus gear" back on the other 6 days of the week?  We claim to love God and we're working to get better at loving those around us, so we ought to be proud of the fact that we are Christians and not be fearful of the name-calling or objections.  I am not suggesting that we go out and start berating the "opposing team" - because that isn't showing love as I mentioned last time.  1 Peter 4:16 "However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name."  Take your Bible out of your desk drawer and leave it on top.  Take the Max Lucado book you're reading to work and read at lunch with your office door OPEN.  Feel free to pause before lunch, close your eyes and say grace before lunch with your clients at Applebee's.  Stick up for your classmate who is being made fun of.  Say an encouraging word to the cashier who looks likes she's had the worst morning possible. Show your love for God by being bold and perhaps it will lead to an opportunity to share your faith with a friend or coworker.  We can't show love if we're too afraid to be known as Christians.

We have to love Yankees fans too??!?!?

OK, I have friends who are Yankees fans so I will go easy on the Yankee-bashing in this post.  Actually, I guess the point of this post is to say that even Yankee fans need God's love.  :)  Most of you know that I am a die-hard red Sox fan and will take any given opportunity to bash our nemesis, the NY Yankees.  In fact as my wedding reception in North Jersey I felt it was necessary to announce, "Babe Ruth, Roger Clemens, Wade Boggs - all of those guys left the Red Sox and became Yankees...I will not be following in their footsteps." The Yankees are known as the "evil empire", but we are told to forgive so (swallowing hard) that's what I'll do.

In Luke 6:27-28 we read "But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you."  Up in the Boston area, NY fans are mortal enemies for at least 8 months out of every year. The hatred runs deep and this is known as the fiercest rivalry in all of baseball and has been carried on for generations.  Will it ever end?  I doubt it. Love isn't easy...I suspect if it was then we'd see a much different landscape in this country than we see now.  Loving family and friends is easier, but loving our enemies?  Now that's near impossible, and yet this is what God expects from us.  Why?  "By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another." (John 13:35).  Because it is so unnatural to love people who hate us that it can only be explained as a "God thing."  It points to Christ - it shows what we're about and our enemies have no defense against it.

Let me offer this up as a picture of what I mean...abortion.  Christians know it is wrong and have very strong feelings about it, and pro-choice supporters feel they are right and scream just as loud from their side.  Is the right response from Christians to yell and scream and carry signs calling pro-choice supporters all kinds of names?  I don't believe it is - those are not loving actions...all that is accomplished is bunch of noise.  Well, something else happens - we get to be known for what we are against rather than for what we really are.  The secular part of society knows we are against abortion or homosexuality or whatever it is instead of seeing that we are compassionate and reflecting God's love.  That verse about does not say that people will know we're Christians by loudly protesting every immoral issue. 

We as Christians need to do a better job of being known for our love rather than for hating what we don't like.  It's easy to say, but doing it is difficult.  Start by asking for God to help you understand how much He loves you and try to be a mirror of that love.  It's difficult to hear God when we're busy yelling...

Your turn...what other "enemies" do we have a hard time loving?
(and practice loving by not bashing the Red Sox in your comments...thanks!)

Home sick? Read a book...

Home sick from work today and ended up reading Francis Chan's "Crazy Love" in the course of just a few hours.  I borrowed the book from my father-in-law because I read a few reviews of it that basically claimed he was preaching "salvation by works" theology and that this was a dangerous book.  I needed to read it for myself.  The fact that I polished it off in a few hours tells you something.  He is NOT preaching about works as a means for salvation, but rather pointing out that a Christ follower who is sold-out in love with God cannot possibly go through their normal week without so-called good works.

GREAT BOOK!  But that description means nothing if I now choose to do nothing.  But see, the stuff is writes about is exactly what I have been tossing around in my own mind so I don't think the "doing something" part will be too difficult for me.  At least, the desiring to do something will be easy.  I struggle with turning desire into action.  How will this manifest in my life?  I don't know yet, but I plan to write about it as I go through this process of changing from a "lukewarm" Christian into a Christian who is defined by love.

Christians Clinging to the Balance Beam

Watch this video...I saw this video clip for the first time this past Monday and thought Francis Chan puts into words and video what I've been thinking for some time now.

Why blog?

Why now?  why start blogging?  Is anyone going to read this?  I'm not sure I can answer all of those questions other than to say that I have been convicted recently to stop living such a safe life and step out in faith.  I can complain all day long about what I see and hear, but the question for me has been "So what?  What can I possibly do about it?"

The answer may be....NOTHING!  But what if I am wrong?  Am I just playing it safe the way I have my whole life?  Am I clinging to the balance beam the way that Francis Chas has demonstrated?  I think I have and I am tired of it.  I cannot make others get off the beam and step out, but I can do it!  And perhaps by my example and through my experience I can help others take the same step.  I've spent a year now journalling about my growth as person and as a Christian and I think some of it is worth sharing.  I've changed and there's quite a bit of stuff I'd like to share, and I am a much better communicator on paper (or screen!).  I'm going to share about my family, and about books I've read (good or bad), and my thoughts on how we Christians can start being 'real' and genuine and do what we are called to do:  LOVE!!

I'm done playing it safe and I write something that ends up being worthless, then so be it.  If you are offended by something I write either discuss it with me or simply stop reading my blog.  Please understand that I do not consider myself to be highly educated, but I am smart.  I'm not going to put every thought in a pefectly cohesive manner, so don't bother correcting my grammer...sometimes I am going to "spew" thoughts through my keyboard. 

Thanks for reading, and please feel free to comment as often as you'd like!