Cheating God is Making Me Fat

Well, I'm learning alot about myself through this journey of learning what it means to love.  Today, I stumbled upon a devotion that I cannot ignore because it directly relates to me and this journey I am on.  Here's the deal:  it's no secret that I like food...alot.  Let me be totally honest...I love food!  (There's that word...love...I bet God wants to show me something!).  As a result of my affinity for all things delicious, I am somewhat...er, rather...well, quite a bit overweight.  I know I have an eating problem, and try as I might, I cannot seem to overcome it.  While being healthy is important to me, as is feeling good about myself and being able to play football and softball and run around with my kids, I have resolved myself to being overweight and having to just "deal with it."  Then I found a free 21 day devotional book concerning food and today i read day one. 

"OK God, you've got my attention - I hear you loud and clear!"

Here's the big reveal - turns out that I am loving food more than I am loving God.  I have actually thought this is the past, but I didn't have the correct perspective.  This past Friday we hosted our first small group study on Francis Chan's book "Crazy Love" and we talked about how BIG God is.  God is so far more than we can ever possibly imagine, and I have chosen to replace Him with steak and potatoes,  burgers and fries, Ronald McDonald and Wendy(s).  I know I've always been an emotional eater, meaning when I get sad or depressed I go find something to eat.  When I get bored, I eat.  When I am mad, I eat.  When I am nervous I don't eat anything, but I make up for it later on when I am no longer nervous.  But here's what I came to realize today...I should be turning to God in those times, not a bag of chips. 

To some of you this may seem like no big deal, but here I am trying to learn about what it means to love God and love like God, and He shows me that I love food more than him.  What if one of my kids was upset and wouldn't say a word to me, but went to the pantry and grabbed a snack instead.  I'd feel like they were robbing me of an opportunity to show my love for them.  When my kids are hurting, I want to hold them in my arms and tell them things will be OK, that we'll get through this together.  As big as God is, He wants us to turn to Him for comfort, yet I essentially say, "No thanks, God...I've got "Five Guys" who I'd rather have help me feel better.  This is absolutely stupid on my part.  I've been cheating God out of a chance to show me the greatness of His love.  It stops now!

So today is day #1 of a new part of my journey...the part where I ask for forgiveness, and then start turning to God instead of food.  When I am sad - there's God.  When I am tired - there's God.  When I am frustrated with my job - there's God.  When I am bored - there's God.  When I don't feel like getting up a few minutes earlier in the morning to go exercise - there's God.  I have to stop relying on food, and rely first and foremost on God.